Twenty Somethings

I am no longer a child,

yet I sit in my childhood bedroom

and my feet still hang off the edge of the bed

in the same way they did

when I was 7.

But unlike before,

I no longer wish to grow up.

The laughter

that once rang through these hallways

is overcome by a deafening silence

that permeates my soul.

I used to play with dolls

on this very same floor 

with the girls

who no longer consider me their friend,

for we have all done unforgivable things

in the name

of loving each other too much,

yet ourselves all the more.

This is the only place I have ever known-

sticky fingers in the yard 

during the heat of summer

naively thinking that if I tried

we could swim through the thickness

of the humidity

that steeps in the air.

These times past

are just a fantasy of childhood now,

I can no longer go back

to the place I remember 

yet I stand here all the same,

with the knowledge that I cannot return-

yet I cannot forget.